Two years...

Two years ago today you walked away from your hospital bed and found peace and painless release. I try to picture you lifting the blankets from your lap; seeing something just beyond our seeing, your curious eyes full of sparkle as if you were a child. In my mind I see you blinking. "What is that light?" And you smile that mischievous smile that you would when something was so "neat" as you called it, that you'd stop mid-story to pick it up and marvel. And marvel you do, in my mind, a few steps from your bed and you wash away into light, quick, like the smoke escaping up a chimney. And you're free, in that split second, less time than it takes for you to realize where the light comes from there you are a part of it, and you are pure happiness, you become your own marvelous, mischievous smile.

You are missed by so many people. You are always remembered. We're here keeping things going for you Dad, keeping up years and knocking down the trees to make room for the next big thing. I'm marveling at "neat" and "building spaghettis" and turning out alright. I've got you to thank for so much. Even if I carry a solid pebble of anger at death itself I cherish your memory like a diamond. Isn't that what you said? "It's like everywhere I go people keep giving me big, big jewels. I'm the richest man."

I found something I know for sure you would have loved...it's almost as if the writer had you in mind.

 Live your life that the fear of death
can never enter your heart.
Trouble no one about his religion.
Respect others in their views
and demand that they respect yours.
Love your life, perfect your life,
beautify all things in your life.
Seek to make your life long
and of service to your people.
Prepare a noble death song for the day
when you go over the great divide.
Always give a word or sign of salute when meeting
or passing a friend, or even a stranger, if in a lonely place.
Show respect to all people, but grovel to none.
When you rise in the morning, give thanks for the light,
for your life, for your strength.
Give thanks for your food and for the joy of living.
If you see no reason to give thanks,
the fault lies in yourself.
Touch not the poisonous firewater that makes wise ones turn to fools
and robs the spirit of its vision.
When your time comes to die, be not like those
whose hearts are filled with fear of death,
so that when their time comes they weep and pray
for a little more time to live their lives over again
in a different way.
Sing your death song, and die like a hero going home.

The Teaching of Tecumseh