To the 'Late' Leo Picard..

The other day I checked the mail and in it, a goverment letter adressed to "the the estate of the late Leo Picard." How rediculous is that? You're really dead when the government calls you "the late". What is "the late" anyway? I mean, when we're alive we don't adress letters to "the current".. why? Why add the term? Is it to make sure I know you're dead?

I had a dream that you left me a note saying that you heard I was crying and that you wanted to call but you were afraid to upset me more. And I got mad at everyone because you were alive and able to leave me a note and everyone had lied to me and now you wouldn't call.

Things are hard right now Dad. I'm being forced to overcome alot and I'm not being given any clear options. Every day the weight is the same. I want to think "what would dad do.." but you'd probably procrastinate it. I know that's harsh but it's the truth. I don't know what you'd say....

The light from the monitor on my hands makes them look aged. I can see every triangle of lines. Your hands were like that, rough from years of hard physical work. You put your hand on my face when we arrived at the hospital and it was like sandpaper. Sandpaper from years of life on a face with only half as many years. You earned your lines and I'll earn mine. What you'd say... you'd say "you just gotta do what's right."